As much as it is important to connect spiritually when you are dating – it is important to keep in mind that with every good thing there are potential pitfalls and I’d like to share some of those with you. The following points are things to keep in mind and balance as you get to know and consider marrying the person you are dating.
1. Prayer is a deeply intimate thing, bringing someone into that element of your life is important, but if you are romantically involved it can potentially leave room for a hole left behind if things don’t work out. Much like letting someone read your journal, knowing that you have let someone into your life at that level can leave you feeling rejected at the core of who you are if the relationship ends.
2. Only praying with each other doesn't work. There are couples that ONLY pray and do devotions when they are together. The danger here is that they assume that they don’t need to implement prayer or spiritual growth in their life OUTSIDE of the relationship. Your relationship with God needs to be independent of each other and not dependant on the other person’s presence or insight.
Consider what you do when you have a box of mementos from an ex. It isn’t long before you begin removing the things that remind you of them so that you don’t have to feel the potential pain of that loss. You DON’T want this to happen with your relationship with God. It’s a good idea to keep growing and praying personally/individually on your own. Don’t allow yourself to rely solely on that other person for your spiritual growth and time with God.
3. Full spiritual intimacy should be saved for marriage. God’s design for men and women is incredible, so is their ability to connect and be intimate. The level of intimacy that we are supposed to have with our spouse goes far beyond what most of us, particularly those of us who are dating, can possibly imagine. The beauty and power of prayer, and having a spiritual connection allows a couples’ souls to intertwine like no other. MARRIAGE is worth it! That said there is a danger that we could implement a level of intimacy prematurely. One thing that is meant for marriage is sex, God’s design and context for sex is marriage, but it isn’t just sex, it’s also the level of soul connection and intimate intertwining that are meant for marriage. In this way, guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23) until your wedding day, not just your body. This includes the need to guard your SOUL! It must belong to God first and only when the relationship is one that will last forever should it be given and intertwined fully with your spouse. In fact, the only way to personal peace is to allow God’s peace to protect your heart (Phil 4:7). Too often we prematurely give our hearts away to people and wonder why our life feels like a storm, or we are deeply hurt from going too far in the relationship.
There are stories of people in deep prayer together that have ended with their becoming physically intimate. Why? Because the level of connection and intimacy they are feeling in their soul and heart naturally progresses into the physical as well. Pheromones are involved in romantic relationships and it’s a natural but potentially dangerous combination. It also carries the risk of masking relational issues with hormones and mis-timed intimacy.