The porn epidemic and the problems that come along with it are becoming a widespread reality. It’s not just Christian conservatives who are calling it out for what it is. Science is consistently finding the levels of addiction and issues that come into play with excessive and unhealthy consumption of porn.

In spite of how many of you might feel, freedom from this issue IS possible. I know many men that have decided that stumbling every 6 months or so is as good as it gets, it isn’t! You can find find the strength for control and even total freedom, not from temptation but from sin in this area.

I am consistently asked by those who struggle with this, as well as those they have asked to help them, where to start when getting on the road to recovery and freedom.

Start by making a list, what happens when you have an unhealthy obsession with porn? What is it doing to you and your family? Read the list regularly, every day even if you need to.

Here are the first few steps that we have found to be the foundation of forward movement and the beginning of lasting freedom. Don’t be intimated by these, tackle one or two at a time and then move forward to the next – and they aren’t necessarily in order either.

1. Tell 2 someone’s.
Sponsor: Try to find someone who has been through it and made it out of the other side. These people are TERRIBLY hard to find so don’t be discouraged if you can’t find someone initially, but keep in mind that you will be able to be that person to someone else one day and let that be an encouragement to you.
Accountably: Find 1 or 2 others with the same desire and drive to beat the habit. This may begin with the single focus of addressing the issue of lust, but don’t leave it there. Make the group you are meeting with one that addresses 4 areas: Spirituality, Family relationships like fatherhood and being a husband, Lust and work and community involvement. A one dimensional approach to accountability over focuses on the problem and often drives us back to it because we are forcing each other to stare at it rather than look into the future and where we are going next.

2. Regular contact.
A. Be sure that you are calling or texting the men in your accountability group at least 3 times per week. check in and support each other, particularly in the early stages. Carrying each other’s burdens requires us to share our burdens with each other. (Galatians 6:1-5)

3. Gouge out your eyes, but of your hands. (Matt. 5:29)
Obviously, I’m not suggesting you actually do physical damage to yourself but I am saying that the extreme nature of this passage tells us that we need to do something drastic. If what you see with your eyes causes you to sin then the only solution (save plucking them out) is that you should take steps to remove your access points to porn. As much as it may be easy to find an alternative source, putting safeguards up to stop the negative thought processes is vital. Delete apps, filter computers, even remove data from your phone plan. Do whatever it takes to put up fences between you and your temptation. Click here for information on protecting and filtering internet access.

4. Join a Program.
Join a program like Valiant Man, Conquer Series, or any other number of possibilities. The incredible value of educating yourself and the aspects of the issue is priceless and trying to do your own research just isn’t enough. Its also a great place to find accountability partners. Even if you only struggle occasionally, or are supporting other who do, these programs are an amazing tool for equipping and bringing real awareness to the layers involved with the issue.

5. Fill your mind.
Its vital that you fill your mind with something else. Scripture talks about “renewing our minds” (Romans 12:2) and we need to be putting positive and strengthening things into our minds. Being intentional to fill our minds with the bible is vital, and positive music and movies help too.

6. Journal.
We also should be journalling and beginning to recognize our triggers that are sending us down the rabbit hole of temptation. Some use the term HALT to recognize some of the triggers. HALT stands for “Hungry” “Angry” “Lonely” and “Tired” others have added “Frustrated” and “Bored” as well, but there are other triggers like being home alone, walking past a particular store or sometimes websites or apps on your mobile device. Beginning to recognize what causes stumbling starts off the process of learning to see them before they hit you.
This is NOT an exhaustive list, and if you don’t connect with real people for support you will NOT be able to move forward in your fight to be a man of purity who honours God and his family.

I’d like to leave you with this note of encouragement by saying that as much as I hope you are excited about the freedom you will begin to find, the process isn’t one that happens overnight. If you stumble, get back up and keep going, but always keep fighting and giving more and more of yourself to God. (2 Cor. 12:9-11)