A funny thing, this living in faith concept! In our 11ish years of ministry I’ve always been able to look back and feel like there were definite moments where my faith was stretched and I grew in my knowledge and “faith” in God! I marvel how, in those moments of trying times, where my faith was being tested (so to speak) how my anxiety would rise. Remembering the trusted people I would find myself frantically spilling out all my fears, worries and moments of impending doom with…just to later find myself feeling totally embarrassed at my lack of discretion and privacy with my thoughts and feelings. But then again, I want to be real, don’t I??
In any case, now I can look back and realize all that was God preparing me…preparation for this new journey that David and I began a few months ago after a very divine appointment with a facebook message that changed everything.
To live a life of faith…just like David’s blog described, is much like jumping off the edge of a cliff…to live beyond oneself that leaves you feeling overwhelmed with an exhilarating rush and yet the pull of fear trying to get its dirty little, all-consuming, crippling and stifling fingers into our spirits and minds.
There are times where I find myself wallowing in the usual cyclone of negative thoughts and the dreadful future that potentially lies ahead of this rabbit hole I have allowed my mind to wander into… where some may turn to the best thc oil for relief, in those moments I find myself running into the arms of my Lord and Savior, and link hands with David, my partner and supporter (what a very beautiful and powerful moment it can be).
Now, I am not trying to suggest that those moments of fear don’t distract me from time to time, but it is because of the previous years of various struggles in my life and experiencing the hand of God that lift me out of those depths, realizing that I will survive and not only WILL I survive, but that there is a blessing waiting for me on the other side!! It is through these experiences, these moments that I have been shaped…that my faith has deepened and has prepared me for these current moments we are facing! With that, the “fear’s” pull is not as strong, they are not as enticing and they are definitely handled more appropriately…at the foot of the cross with a whole new level of confidence…God will work it out as He always does…it’s just a matter of patient but also the daily surrendering of “my” plans for His!
That daily surrender thing…that is a work in progress. Another major area I haven’t had a great track record with…but boy am I learning and growing. It is through this current journey of living in faith that I find myself NEEDING to daily surrender because I ultimately have NO control or power over any of these various situations…it has left me with no other choice!
Sometimes I wonder if God plans it that way,…to remove all means of how we can still “manipulate” a situation based on your own wisdom and power…just to prove to you who the real person is in control, so that you can finally recognize a piece of who God truly is?!! I can’t believe how God continues to fight for us to see…to take notice…to learn and grow…and finally choose Him!! How patient He is with us!! With ME!!
So what are we going through that feels like we are living a life of faith…?? We uprooted our well-established family in an amazing town called Niverville. Niverville: where 3 years previous I had no clue this place existed, let alone would be the place that me and my family would fall in love with! Now, we didn’t chose to LEAVE this place, we chose to GO where Jesus was calling us to. We felt that God was giving us 2 different options/opportunities…one that would have been more familiar to us, where we could still be blessed, grow and see God’s amazing work in and through us…or the other where there were a lot more “risks” that meant we had to live outside of our comforts and just jump knowing God will be there to catch us. Or better yet, to step outside the boat and walk onto the water to Jesus…to live by faith!
Moving our family across 4 provinces, with no place to move, with our house not even close to being sold, with no financial security or benefits handed to us, into an area that we thought we wouldn’t move back to! Now we are here, facing a lot of unexpected hurdles as well as constant bombs that are dropped where we feel we are struggling just to survive. But is that the truth? Are we barely surviving?!! That’s just it, that’s why the story of Peter stepping out of the boat to walk out on the water to Jesus fits our circumstances incredibly well!! What happened to Peter, he was doing fine until he took his eyes off Jesus and realized the reality of the waves around him, at which point he began to sink. Even though he chose to take his eyes off of Jesus, God still demonstrated His grace by extending His hand to lift him back out!! Those circumstances and environment was always there…it’s just that Peter lost focus and allowed himself to be consumed by it for a moment where fear gripped him and he lost his faith.
So my friends…be encouraged as I have been!! Whatever it is that you are going through…whatever storms of life or testing of your faith you are facing…be at peace that they are there to prove to you God’s mighty provision as He always pulls through by bringing us through it and blessing us on the other side.
And that these situations are there to prepare you for the next time God wants to call you out of the boat, to live beyond your comfort zone so he can amaze you with something beyond your wildest imagination as you keep your eyes fixed on Him. Don’t you want that?! Don’t you want to experience more of Him, His power and what He can do in and through you? Do you really want to just remain in the comforts of that boat where you miss out on so much more?
God wants to do something crazy with each of us, to show Himself more to you and to work through you in a might way! As you do, do your best to keep your eyes on Him…pay no attention to the environment around you or the circumstances you are in because they don’t matter! They are always there, that will never change, but how you handle them and deal with them will. And if you do have a moment of weakness, God isn’t going to be mad with you and just let you sink…remember He is there to pull you out, to pull you back up and rescue you again! See, everything He does is not to harm you, but to grow you, sustain you, and to develop you into amazing partners with Him!